Friday, December 02, 2005

12-04-05 Alien reproduction

It's been a long eleven days.

Alot has happened since then.

For one, I was abducted by a UFO full of - lucky me - three-breasted alien chicks.

They abducted me because they thought that, since I'm a librarian, I know all of the human knowledge in existence. When they told me that, I chuckled. I explained to them that one has to read the books in order to get knowledge. They laughed and told me that the way Earthlings acquire knowledge is, not only weird, but also archaic.

"Why do you say that?" I asked. "Don't you guys read books?"

"Earthling," said one of them, laughing. "We don't need books. We get the information from the source. Yes, we have individual brains, but they all are connected by -what earthlings call - 'telepathy'. So - in other words - our individual brains act as one giant brain. So if one of us is studying the pathetic behavior of a wretched earthling, we all - every one of us - get that knowledge. "

I nodded understandingly and reluctantly asked, "So, if one of you is reading something like a magazine of pornography, you all get horny."

"Yes, that's true. As a matter of fact, I've heard of Burbalahs [thier alien term for "women"] standing in line at a Conipsylipsy store [an alien grocery store], being stricken, suddenly, by - what earthlings call - an orgasm. And our - what you call - "orgasms" are way more intense. A purple, milky fluid comes shooting out of the burbalah's mouth."